An Ode to the Hopeless Romantics

She shines like a sun and her glare tickles me to make me smile artlessly.

There I was: Content. Autumn had faded in. I was rather happy, at peace. Getting on with the oddities of life and it was all perf.. but then, it happened. Crap, didn’t I promise myself to not get in this soup?…screw that. It started out so innocently and before I knew it, I lived for that text message.

Crushes. They can happen anywhere, be it the classroom, the cafe, or the corridor. But the main principles remain the same – Ignorance and little knowledge about them, combined with a deep sense of knowing them , and the misguided belief that they might actually be ‘the one’. We have all experienced this since adolescence, and even now when we should know better, it happens. Despite how much we tried to deny it, no matter how much we tried to fight it, and no matter how ridiculous we thought it sounded, we just couldn’t stay away.

She remains unaware of my presence while I get high in her presence.

But these crushes surely bring out our abilities to observe the smallest of the details. Just a wrist, a cool t-shirt, hair styled in a certain way, together become a complete entity, a person whom we have known for a long time. Not just that, we can imagine having a perfect relationship with them as they would understand us, and accept us for who we are. Because a crush is a potent mix of idealization and infatuation, it doesn’t require knowing another person well at all. A superficial impression can be a provocation, such as, “I like the way how what others think doesn’t matter to her.” Although a crush appears to be about attraction to another person, it is actually about projection of valued attributes on another person – a statement about what they find attractive.

She is beautiful and I am hopelessly in love

The cynics say it’s madness, this filling in of the gaps. We are just projecting wild wreckless fantasies. But we are probably right to be delighted, its just not the whole story. Perhaps that wrist does belong to someone who is pefect, intellectual, tolerant and has a great personality. But the main problem occurs when one goes beyond that insight, to think that only these little things could ever be the whole truth about a human being. Knocked out completely by their stunning presence and charm, we forget the truth, that everyone is crazy and a trouble to be around.We are short-tempered, vain, deceitful, crass, sentimental, woolly, cold, over-emotional and chaotic. What prevents us from holding this in mind in relation to certain people is simply, a lack of knowledge.

She gets me, and I get her.

That said, we shouldn’t give up on having crushes. What we should not do is believe in what they appear to promise aymore. Everyone is messed up and difficult to live with.  No one, even the target of our passion cannot miraculously escape the fundamentals of human condition. It certainly might seem so, but they can’t. We just don’t know them properly. Of course, we have not seen complete perfection. It is just a pretty side or two, coming to the fore. The more we discover them, the less they would ever look like the solution to all our problems. And there are some of us who love the feeling, but hate the reality. I know we all are messed up, but some of us still hold on to the fairy-tale despite knowing the truth.

She has a good taste in music.

Sigh… Why do I keep falling for her again and again, with whom I know things won’t work out in the end, but yet I still hold onto that off chance of a fairy tale story? Despite of all the failed attempts, and all the patience that bore with time, I guess this is meant to be? Maybe not, but oh well, atleast now I know the truth, and so do you. So basically, it’s good to accept your feelings as long as you don’t trick yourself into thinking the person is perfect, acknowledging that they too are very flawed in some way or another.?? In the words of Shakespeare:

“And as imagination bodies forth

The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen

Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing

A local habitation and a name.”

So all these crushes are made up of that “airy nothing” too, right?

This write-up was written by Shaurya Gulati


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