Is it a sloth? Is it a snail? Is it a…buffering……..err NO; it’s the College WiFi.

So what are we ranting about, think about the kids in Somalia, every minute that we waste selfishly focusing on our own first world problems like “WiFi”, we forget that there are the less fortunate ones out there.

So what is the big deal if we paid about SIX THOUSAND bucks each semester for the WiFi.

So what if my education suffers regularly because I can’t access the much expensive online search portals like Manupatra ( which is also funded from a student’s pockets).

Just because I couldn’t fill my passport forms and apply for the CDS exam, I don’t think I should complain. Is it really that big an issue if I pop a few grey hair waiting for a page to load? Seriously, no kidding, I’d gladly wait.

I regularly pray to the Sacred Gods of the WiFi, in the profound hope that maybe just for once, the WiFi does not disconnect while I’m in the middle of an argument on a group chat, because you HAVE to agree that’s the worst kind of humiliation. But as Murphy’s Law would have it, the sinister drug-lord pulls the trigger, just when you need him to back you up.

Your internet connection is so slow that if you download a Metallica mp3, Lars is knocking at your door before it finishes.

Endless open house sessions, applications and complaints have done ABSOLUTELY nothing to make the situation better. It’s only human to work your way around a situation which is a lost cause, “Yaar, lunch time pe try karna, mast speed ayegi”, “yaar, raat ko do baje k baad try karna, katai buffer hoga” , “Yaar, on a full moon night sacrifice a goat and add an eagle’s claw to it, hojana chahiye!!”

Okay, so now let’s do the math.

400 students paying approx. 1000 INR per month as internet charges which adds up to 400,000 INR ( which also includes charges for online portals like Westlaw and Manupatra).

fee structure
38 minutes, is how long it took, to download the college prospectus.

But despite that kind of money (with which one can clearly buy a 4G pack for a month), the internet speed ranges around 10 kbps to 60 kbps (ps: 60 kbps is only on good days!).


my precious
While looking for internet plans online, I was denied access. Talk about aggressive dominant control. “MUST USE CYBER ROAM”

Quick Facts:

  1. The slow internet connection problem dates back to 2013.
  2. This year itself students were denied access to log into their accounts because apparently they had reached a 1 G.B. download limit.
  3. After that glitch was fixed, the WiFi seemed to never work, sometimes it was blamed on the router, the other times I believe it was a gremlin.
  4. Another interesting thing to mention would be when the Fifth years had an online assessment test, all the other batches could not use the internet for two days.
    (We don’t necessarily have to sacrifice internet facilities for each other, this burden is to be borne by the college authorities and not the students.)
  5. Internships were denied because skype interviews could not be conducted.
  6. In today’s date; this is where we stand;

Given such blazing fast speeds, it’s not strange that it ACTUALLY took 38 minutes to download the AIL prospectus from the AIL website.

And you thought I was joking?
And you thought I was joking?

The lesser we get, the lesser we expect. The slope has been slippery for  way too long. If any of this makes any sense to you, kindly drop in an email regarding the same, at (The more the merrier).

If you have a sense of “value for money” stop fighting with the auto wala for chillar and do this.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. Priya Khanna says:

    Is there anything you can’t do, Ma’am? This is amazing!
    I mean, this is so witty, sarcastic and makes sense all at the same time.
    You could write a book, you know!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. shreyavajpei says:

    As of October 21, 2015, the college internet has been fixed.


  3. Anonymous says:

    As of 28th October, internet hasn’t been working for the past 4 days in the boys hostel !!!


  4. Also, that downloading attendance spreadsheet from the college website has always been a hassle this year. It’s is miracle of someone can download it.


  5. Varun Pany says:

    What kind of next gen kids are you ?
    I downloaded like 2 Terabytes of data in my last 2 years, nor was there a website that I couldn’t access. All of this with a regular ID.
    Where there’s a will, there’s a way!


    1. Oh you were the one who was hogging all the bandwidth. 😛


  6. Pallavi Supehia says:

    It is a snA.I.L
    Well it sure does help you to get better and better with the dinosaur game (IT’s called the T- Rex runner. I googled)


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